English is part of your team
The uncomfortable colleague called English
Imagine your English as a member of your team. You see each other every day. You need to work together to get the project done, share knowledge, exchange opinions and insights.
You often attend meetings together, but you hardly ever interact. You avoid eye contact. You hope they won’t talk to you. The two of you are practically strangers.
Many professionals treat English like this: avoiding calls, declining meetings, evading presentations – because they feel so uncomfortable around English.
But this is not because they don’t know English. It’s because they haven’t built a positive relationship with it yet.
❖ It’s hard to feel confident in a language you only use in stressful situations.
Why you and your English don’t feel like a team (yet)
Think about your history with English. It’s not just a language – it’s a relationship that has developed over years.
And like any relationship, if there’s been criticism, pressure or silence, it’s natural that you feel disconnected from it now.
Maybe you only learnt English for exams, not for real conversations. You were taught to memorise grammar rules and vocabulary instead of communicating. Maybe your mistakes meant bad marks or embarrassment, so you learnt to stay quiet rather than take risks.
Now, at work, you probably use English only when you have to, not when you want to. You might listen to yourself speak and instantly judge your grammar or pronunciation instead of focusing on the message you want to share. And when your English doesn’t sound the way you’d hoped, it feels like it’s letting you down – just when you need it most.
Little by little, you start believing the story that you’re “not good at English” or that you’ll “never learn it.” So you avoid speaking whenever possible – in meetings, in small talk, in those moments when connection matters most.
But just like any colleague you rarely speak to, your English can’t become a trusted teammate if you only interact once in a while. Trust grows through regular contact, small moments of communication, and a willingness to show up – even when things aren’t perfect yet.
❖ The good news is: You can learn to trust your English, just as you learn to trust a real teammate.
What happens when you build trust
Think about your human teammates for a moment. When you connect with them, when you feel comfortable and trust them,
you speak freely, naturally, and confidently, without overthinking every word.
you allow yourself to be authentic, worry less about mistakes, and focus more on the conversation.
you collaborate more smoothly in meetings, brainstorm ideas openly, and build stronger relationships.
The same principles apply to your relationship with your English. When you trust your English, you create a safe space to express yourself, try new words, and take risks without fear.
Trust doesn’t come from knowing every word or grammar rule perfectly; it comes from consistent practice, patience, and positive experiences. The more you nurture your relationship with your English, the more it becomes a teammate you can rely on, rather than a stranger you avoid.
❖ Confidence with English isn’t about perfection; it’s about the quality of your relationship with the language. You may not go out for drinks after work, but respect and reliability are fundamental in a good working relationship.
How to build a relationship with your English
By now you might be asking, “Okay, so how can I build a positive relationship with English?”
Well, just like you build trust with your human teammates, there are a few important stages that help you start connecting with your English. Each stage takes time, patience and intention – but the results are worth it.
1. Start small: Say hello more often. Smile.
When you first meet a new colleague, you don’t expect to be best friends immediately. You start small: with short conversations, a few smiles, maybe a coffee.
It’s the same with English. You don’t need long study sessions to make progress. What matters is consistency. Try using English for five minutes a day: read a short article, write a quick message, or speak to yourself while making coffee. Those small “hellos” add up and help you feel more comfortable around your English.
2. Be curious: Listen without judgment.
When you work with someone new, you observe them: how they speak, what they need, how they react. You learn what helps the relationship grow.
Do the same with English. Listen to how people use it in real life: in meetings, podcasts, or series. Don’t judge yourself or others; simply notice. What expressions do people use? How do they make their messages clear? Curiosity helps you learn naturally, without pressure.
3. Show kindness: Stop criticising – show empathy.
We all have days when communication doesn’t go as planned. Maybe you forget a word, misunderstand a colleague, or freeze in a meeting. Instead of criticising yourself, be kind to yourself – just as you would if a teammate made a mistake.
Take a deep breath, remind yourself you’re learning, and move on. Be kind to your English, too: it’s doing its best to help you. And kindness builds confidence much faster than perfectionism ever will.
4. Spend time together: Have a coffee. Share moments.
Strong relationships grow through shared time and positive experiences. The same applies to English. Don’t only use it when you have to – find ways to enjoy it.
Watch ten minutes in English of a series you love, listen to an English song you enjoy and find out more about the lyrics, chat with someone who makes you feel safe, or join a relaxed English-speaking group. The more positive experiencesyou have, the more natural your connection with English becomes.
5. Appreciate each other: Recognise what your colleague can do.
It’s easy to focus on what’s missing – the words you don’t know, the mistakes you make. But strong relationships grow when you recognise strengths, not weaknesses.
Notice what you can already do: the emails you write clearly, the conversations you manage, the meetings you understand. Celebrate every bit of progress. Appreciation builds trust — and the more you trust your English, the more confident you’ll feel using it.
❖ When you treat English like a teammate, trust and confidence naturally grow.
How to turn English into an ally: The TRUST Approach
I have worked with professionals using English at work for over 30 years. I am also a certified language coach. By combining my professional experience with my coaching expertise, I have created my own methodology: the TRUST approach.
TRUST stands for the following steps:
T – Tell me about your English. Have honest conversations.
Understand your relationship with English. What feelings come up? What makes you avoid it? How can you start connecting with it?
R – Reorganise your learning. Spend quality time together.
Make space in your day-to-day for regular, meaningful contact with English: consistency builds confidence.
U – Use your English. Communicate. Use it to its full potential
Find the strengths in the English you already have before trying to add new, fancy words and structures. Speak, write, and even laugh with English. The more you use it, the more natural it feels.
S – Support. Trust grows in safety.
Find a safe space where mistakes don’t threaten your progress: confidence grows where you feel supported.
T – Tongue (pronunciation). Create deeper understanding. Be understood.
Fine-tune your pronunciation and clarity so that English becomes a language you can truly “speak” with ease.
❖ With this approach, English stops feeling like a stranger and becomes a trusted team member you can rely on.
From awkward to aligned: What it feels like
Verónica used to decline meetings and avoid speaking to international colleagues. She felt she wasn’t good enough, and that she couldn’t be herself in English.
But she gradually realised that English was there for her to transmit her professional expertise, not to be perfect. She gave a much-applauded presentation at work – in English. And during the coffee break, she approached a British colleague she had been avoiding for years and finally introduced herself.
“It wasn’t perfect. But they all understood me, and I was able to say everything I wanted.”
Belén used to panic whenever she had to attend a meeting in English and used to stay silent, hoping no-one would ask her any questions.
But she began to notice that people understood her perfectly, even if she made mistakes.
“People understood me, and I understood them - and having a coffee together felt much easier. ”
This is what happens when you stop avoiding English and start partnering with it.
Practical actions to start today
So, what can you do to build that positive working relationship with your English today? Here are a few ideas.
Talk to yourself in English for two minutes per day. It’s not about correctness – it’s about getting comfortable with speaking English.
Choose a grammar structure or an expression you usually avoid, and write three sentences with it. Don't worry about being perfect – just give it a try.
When you hear an English word you don’t know, say, “Nice to meet you” instead of “Oh no, I don’t know this word!” Be curious about it, try to find out more about it, get familiar with it.
Choose one work situation this week where you invite English in. Try writing your to-do list, action points or meeting notes in English. Or you could read a paragraph in English, then summarise it in one sentence, speaking out loud.
❖ It is small but achievable actions like this that make English a regular, natural part of your working week.
Conclusion
English doesn’t need to be perfect to be a partner. The more you talk, the stronger the connection becomes. Trust it, and it will support you back.